Maybe Tomorrow
by macie41
Summary: It's Matteney. Read if you must. It's not completely heartbreaking, I think...


_**A/N: I just have a lot feelings right now so I just wrote this little piece. A little Matteney heartbreaker but nevertheless, they will always be my number one OTP.**_

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It was a few days before her wedding and she was very happy. She was marrying a man that she loved and she could feel that loved him too. Something was bothering her though.

He had been acting distant towards her ever since he found out that she was getting married. She doesn't understand. They were very close. She thought he would be happy. She missed him so much. It aches her that she should be enjoying everything, dwelling in her bliss but she can't help but think of him.

She dialled for his number, eager to know the truth.

"Hello?" The familiar voice she loved so dearly rang through the speaker.

"Hey, Matty." She said.

"Oh. Hi, Court. What made you call? Shouldn't you be doing some planning or stuff?" He replied.

"Can we talk? I mean, in person." She asked.

"Wow, we haven't talked in a long time...Why?"

"It's just I want to talk - like really talk. No jokes, just two friends having an honest conversation."

They met at a small cafe; the one they would always go to when they want to lay low and just enjoy each other's company away from the limelight.

"I've been wanting to ask you this for so long now, but I never had the guts to do so. I don't also know how I would react if ever you confirmed it. I think we're ready now 'cause we've matured enough and that you would be honest." She stated calmly.

He just looked at her with his eyebrows furrowed. "Okay. Wow, this seems to be very serious."

She took a deep breathe and looked straight into his eyes. " Was there a time when I hurt you? Not in a physical way, or any one of those times when we had some disagreements. Have I ever hurt you without me knowing it?"

He just bent his head down, not knowing how to respond to her question. After a few moments, he looked back up to her with a smile. "It's nothing, Court. That was so long ago. And it's not your fault either. It's my fault I got hurt."

"Still, even if it was indirectly...I don't know what, but I know there is something. I'm not numb, you know."

"How did you know?"

"For the long time we've been together, I feel like I know you so well. I can sense when something's wrong with you, or if you're bothered or upset. I know you do your best to cover it up with all the jokes you're making but I know you're hurting Matty. And when you can't handle it anymore, you take a step back and get yourself away. You're not talking to me lately and I miss you. Please tell me what's wrong..."

He held a small laugh before catching his breathe once more. "Well, I guess you really know me well." He took a small pause, the expression on his face making it obvious that he's choosing his words carefully. "You're right. I don't know, it's just the way I am. But still, I figured if you already know that I'm hurt - that you did something that hurt me, you wouldn't need to ask anymore. If you know me so well; I mean you should know, right? Does that make sense? Isn't it that: 'love means never having to say 'I'm sorry'? So if you really care, then you won't do anything to that person that you will take back and feel sorry about…Do you get it? Oh right, we never dated. We're just friends." He laughed once more, a little more loudly this time. He just told her the truth - the one he's been keeping for God knows how long now, while also inevitably making a fool out of himself.

She did not laugh along, but rather just kept her gaze at him. "Tell me the truth Matthew, did you love me more than as a friend?"

He looked away, trying to shield himself from her look. He couldn't find the words to say, and it took him minutes to respond. To her, those minutes felt like forever. "I don't know if that's what you meant, but...Do you love someone when she's the reason why you find yourself smiling each day? Do you love someone when you hope each night that she thinks about you all the time like the way you do? Can you say that you love someone when you feel gut-wrenchingly hurt knowing that she loves someone else? Courteney, if that's the love your talking about, then I guess...I did. I loved you, Courteney."

She just sat there silently. She didn't expect his answer at all.

"Don't worry Court... That was way before. I just answered your question. I accepted it. So long ago... My fault was that I hoped that there was something. I thought that you might feel the same way. When I dreamed of us being together, I was happy - incredibly happy. But, it stung so much, hoping for something that wasn't there. It was better when I wasn't this kid hung up on paradise. I just wish that I didn't expect anything, 'cause when you don't you're just fine with things. But then, I was truly happy with the way things were working with our friendship. I now had memories to hold on to. Now I have those memories to look back on, whether I like it or not. Even though it hurts. I'm not saying all of these things to make you feel guilty. I just feel like you should know. Don't think that I'm miserable because you didn't love me. I'm doing fine. I'm patiently waiting for the one who'll be right on time..."

She still couldn't utter a word. She settled on holding his hand, squeezing it lightly.

"I guess I'm jealous of Chandler. He had it right. He loved her bestfriend all this time and luckily, she felt the same way. They found each other at the right moment. They just fit and it all made perfect sense... I just wish it made sense for me too..." He added.

"Well Monica and Chandler's love is beautiful but sadly, it's fiction. Maybe it's extremely difficult to find that kind of love...or maybe it doesn't exist? How many times have I been in love? I can honestly say it never felt an ounce of what Monica and Chandler have..." She was getting married yet it was what she truly felt.

"You'll find your Monica, Matthew…Someday, for sure..." She added, reassuringly.

"Matty thanks for being honest… And I know that it means a lot for you to show the true you, and I know that you don't usualy do that. If I were to be completely honest, I think at some level, I felt it. I just wasn't sure. Now I know. I'm so lucky to have been loved by you..."

"And how unlucky I am not to be loved by you…" He said jokingly, but the pain in between his words struck hard.

She did not answer him. Instead, she pulled him to one loving hug.

"Now that everything's been said, please Matty...Please...can we go back to the way it was? I miss you so much. I miss our friendship. It will never be the same without you. You'll always be a part of me. I felt like I just lost a toe." She said while being wrapped around his chest.

He laughed at her last remark. "Do you miss the tip?"

"It has the nail So now Matthew Langford Perry, promise you'll always be there for me? 'Cause I'll always be there for you."

"I'll always be your friend, Courteney. I'll be there for you. My God, we're so corny." He said after letting go

"Yeah, let's leave it at that. Stop mentioning song lyrics." They hugged once more. He was holding back tears, trying to keep himself strong.

He will never regret loving her.


End file.
